Kreutzer's history in ![[community profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/community.png)
mayfield_rpg and gargleblasted
Aug. 8th, 2026 12:57 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
suicidollIt all started with a traditional waking up in a new place with no idea where you are. Here, Kreutzer met Hajime Aikawa, who Mayfield assigned to be her husband. Being a simultaneous newcomer to the town, Hajime could offer no more answers than Kreutzer, who believed Mayfield to be an afterlife for her to suffer through for the remainder of eternity. With the confusion between them being mutual, they agreed to go their own separate ways in town, scout for information and meet up in this home that they were apparently assigned to live in.
Kreutzer did her own investigation and learned the basics of Mayfield, along with making her first friend in town: a white unicorn named Rarity. The two instantly bonded over their love of fashion and became quick friends. She’d become very important to Kreutzer’s development, but the details will be explained later.
The big shocker of Kreutzer’s first day came when she and Hajime returned home, when she learned of his true origins as the world destroyer named Joker. She hadn’t expected to be able to find anyone she could so relate to, much less live with one. Still feeling as though she could very likely bring about great destruction and betrayal again, Kreutzer decided that she needed to take precautions and make sure such a thing would never happen. Her plan consisted of making a bitter enemy out of Hajime so that if she ever needed to be put down, he would do so without the slightest bit of hesitation. Tension between the two grew immensely and quickly, as a result. This, however, was just the beginning...
Kreutzer made a critically poor decision soon afterwards: she went to the post office to regain her low-tier enchanting abilities. The price for this ability? Her memories between when she met Rosa and everything before her death. This meant she lost all of her memories of Rosa and the memories of bringing down her own empire. As far as Kreutzer was concerned, she died before she could fix any of her problems at home. She became restless and though she tried to focus it on her sewing, it didn’t last long. Even when she tried to keep herself focused on more ambitious projects, it was apparent that the effects of losing such important memories were taking their toll on the girl. These tolls were most apparent to Hajime, who had the unfortunate displeasure of living with her. He soon learned, however, of the girl’s true intentions after a conversation with one of her dolls, Earl. Though it gave him a clear viewpoint of what the girl wanted to do, Hajime still agreed to kill her, if the time ever came about.
As time progressed from that point, Kreutzer slowly began pushing away from the darker side of her personality as she found more and more friends to spend time with and, as a result, more trustworthy ways of relieving her stress. Her already established relationship with Rarity only grew as the two spent time together and even worked on various projects together. Applejack she met during the time poison joke spread across the town and Kreutzer became a pony. She also met Princess Luna, another who Kreutzer could relate to in terms of past mistakes and wanting to make up for them. Shortly afterwards, Apple Bloom arrived in her home, forcing Kreutzer to keep herself in control while agreeing with Hajime to keep their hostility away from the young filly. Her relationship with Applejack grew further, as a result. Perhaps one of her most important relationships, however, was with young Luke Triton, who she agreed to take on as a student. Along with further enforcing the need for self-control, his progress and their relationship helped better her mood, culminating in his successful construction of a golem.
However, this was about when things took a turn for the worst. Not long after Luke built his golem did Mayfield have a new event: one that served to alter the memories of the victims, like a false canon update. Due to this faux memories, Kreutzer became the monster she truly feared she would become. From directly harassing Hajime to providing the AU’d!Nightmare Moon with power to nearly strangling poor Luke to death, the girl spread chaos in an already chaos-infused town.
Then Hajime (who was then Joker) and Kreutzer had the showdown that both of them expected. It ended exactly how Kreutzer wanted it to.
Ironically, it turns out her death worked out for the better. After the AU event ended, Kreutzer and Hajime actually had a civil, down to earth conversation with each other. No antagonizing, no fighting…just them and one conversation. His proving capable of killing her shook away all urges to try and be a villain, leaving only a desire to truly die and remorse for her actions, particularly towards Hajime. He may have been a monster, but he was so much better off than she was…so much that she was almost envious of him. Here, he told her very important words: sometimes, the only reason one needs to live is to survive and fight fate. Though not quite sure what to do with those words at first, she still thanked him for everything and left to ponder to herself.
For a while, things remained simple for her…up until the carnival arrived in Mayfield. It certainly looked questionable with its rusted design, but Kreutz and the other Mayfielders knew that it was likely more than just an old carnival, especially the funhouse. Given how the town usually functioned, the lethality was certainly expected. The depth of the lethality, however, was not.
The unfortunate ones found themselves in an alternate dimension of the carnival. Kreutzer was among them. With minimal to no supplies, Kreutzer and the others were forced to survive with whatever they could get their hands on.
On the third day, Kreutzer decided it would be best to at least do some exploration while she was there. After all, locations like this naturally had secrets to be uncovered at the risk of harm and whatnot, right? That was this dimension to an extreme. The corroded area and the lack of food was beginning to wear her down, but she refused to let that slow her down, even when she and Chell investigated the mysterious house 501. The two women couldn’t get far, however, as Chell was rendered unconscious, forcing Kreutzer to escape and drag Chell behind her. Things continued to look grim until she learned the phone lines began working and she managed contact with Rarity and Apple Bloom. After confirming their safety, Kreutzer promised them that she would return home alive.
But as hopeful as she was, Kreutzer could only tolerate so much before finally losing it. By the fourth day, Kreutzer had all about all she could take and went berserk, attacking both the ferris wheel and the fun house.
All her efforts only amounted to wasted effort and feeling even more drained the next day, the day when she really needed the energy. The dimension was falling apart and anyone who stood there too long would surely go down with it. Despite her own weakness, however, Kreutzer managed to save Chell and Luke from untimely demises in the other dimension. She, however, was reluctant to leave just yet for the sake of unfinished business. The dreaded house 501 still needed to be dealt with and Kreutzer ensured that it went down with the rest of the dimension. Despite wanting to watch the house burn, Tachikoma reminded her of how much more important it was to survive than take out her personal vendetta. Too exhausted to argue, Kreutzer hung limply as the spider tank carried her to safety…but as her anger began to fade with her remaining energy, she realized something very important: she realized how she couldn’t just allow herself to die so easily; her friends were counting on her and awaiting her return home. Through those she sincerely cared for, Kreutzer found her reason to live: for her friends.
After being rescued from the alternate dimension, Kreutzer limped her way through town to look for one very specific unicorn. She arrived through sheer willpower alone, but her fatigue was getting the best of her. Thankfully, she held on to her consciousness long enough to see Rarity one more time before everything went black.
It took Kreutzer several days before she could finally have the strength to leave on her own, but eventually she returned home to Apple Bloom and the others, where despite the pointless violence she saw in that other dimension, Kreutzer was actually feeling rather good about herself…but there was still much that bothered her. Her lingering guilt from her actions back home and in Mayfield still weighed her down and she truly wanted to be happy, she needed to be comfortable with leaving such events in the past. Given the town didn’t have much in the way of repentance, the only way she could truly face judgment for her sins was to ask a fellow Mayfielder for it: Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, The judge of Hell. When Kreutzer asked for her help, she agreed to provide…but of course, it wouldn’t be easy. Delivering the only form of punishment circumstances allowed her to, Kreutzer found punishment in the unimaginable, indescribable pain of being struck with the judge’s Rod of Remorse. Living up to its name, the rod struck through Kreutzer’s head and down to her very soul, a lifetime’s supply of guilt and repentance surging through her body in the instance of each blow. She received one for each sin she committed and confessed.
Despite the horrors of accepting judgment, Kreutzer found herself much more relaxed and at ease with her clearer conscious. So much so, in fact, that she was managing to enjoy her life for what it was and enjoy it with the friends she made and survived with.
…Though as was the norm in this town, things always take a turn for the worst when they’re at their happiest. Rarity became permanently droned, stealing from Kreutzer her greatest friend in Mayfield. It devastated her, to say the least. Even when the next event(various portals on various days taking people to various places) in tow, most of the girl’s concerns were focused on Rarity. As a result, her search in this dimension yielded no results…but her consolation prize held much more value than anything she would’ve found in the wasteland: the memories she turned in so many months ago. She remembered that she actually did accomplish her mission back home…and she remembered making a dear friend there. Rosa. Rosa Christopher.
Those memories forcing themselves back into her head overwhelmed Kreutzer and she fled home, keeping to herself for the remainder of the day. She wasn’t seen again until late that night, when she was sitting alone in the park with a Rarity doll in her arms. She cried to herself and tried to sing away her pain, but there was only so much she could do to numb it down. Her tears kept her from noticing Applejack’s and Apple Bloom’s arrival, the two ponies immediately comforting her when they found her. Though it took some time to calm her down, they eventually brought her home, where she and her family enjoyed an evening together. This town may have given them hell at every opportunity, but through the suffering, she found meaning…and happiness.
…But once again, everything went black.
Without warning, Kreutzer found herself aboard a spaceship called the Thor…and far away from Mayfield. In fact, one of the first things she was told on arrival was the destruction of Mayfield. Shaken by this, she reached out to those on board the ship to learn of the specifics…but was surprised by the familiar faces she found, particularly Princess Luna. Assuming she arrived from Mayfield as well, Kreutzer happily greeted her, only to learn of the falsity of her assumption. This Luna had no recollection of Kreutzer or Mayfield and as such, could only awkwardly continue conversation as the girl explained herself. Despite this, she was just fine reforging her friendship with the princess of the night while learning of the secrets this ship held in store.
And so her life aboard the Thor began.
After spending a few days getting acquainted with the ship, she decided to travel to the Magic Guild, where she was told she would be allowed to continue her magical studies and business. Here she met Lemina Ausa, the guildmaster, who approved of Kreutzer’s studies after being wowed by her dolls.
Kreutzer quickly learned that, like Mayfield, this place was far from stable and relaxed. Unlike Mayfield, however, they didn’t get nearly as horrific or traumatic. As questionable as they were, the girl’s experience with Mayfield gave her a resistance to any horrible things the ship wanted to throw at her.
It did come close, however, when the ship began altering others’ memories. Kreutzer learned it messed with Luna’s and nearly made the situation worse by trying to be honest. However, she promised the princess a moonlit tea party to brighten her mood.
And Kreutzer delivered. Along with meeting with and developing a closer bond with Luna, Kreutzer once again met Eiki, who, like the pony, had no memories of the town. Still, she and Kreutzer were able to share a casual teatime together. The other guests who arrived enjoyed themselves as well and at that particular night, she realized how her life on the ship actually felt close to normal, something happy and peaceful that she could willingly continue.
And continue it did in its questionably normal state all the way until December, when Kreutzer learned that she had been living next door to Rarity for months without realizing it. Kreutzer finally contacted her, but taken too far aback from the shock of this meeting meant she made the poor unicorn uncomfortable. Like the others before her, Rarity had no memory of Mayfield. This particularly hurt Kreutzer, but she decided she would also reforge her friendship with Rarity, just as she did with Luna.
The next time she saw a familiar face was when Hajime found himself aboard the Thor…but to her surprise, he remembered her. And he brought her very important information about the town: it finally got shut down and those still there were able to live life as they chose to…but they could never return home. Why? Because the entire town was a computer simulation and those within it mere copies of their real selves. News like this should’ve radically damaged her as it did to most of the town’s residents, but to both of their surprise? Kreutzer wasn’t bothered by it. After a moment’s thought, she realized how okay with the idea she was. Since she was a clone, this meant her real self was still dead and could rest peacefully. Instead of let this revelation weigh her down, Kreutzer decided she would live life for herself…and her real counterpart.
And despite questionably normal things like fighting off space pirates, planning a counterforce team by constructing fighter ships and working for a gaming corporation, Kreutzer still enjoyed herself and her life for what it was: having adventures across the universe and on different planets, living a life few others could.
The events thus far in Kreutzer’s life hit its climax when Princess Celestia proposed a miniature contest among the residents of the Thor: reporting on what they’ve learned about friendship during their time on the ship or back home. In her report, Kreutzer reflected on her life back home, in Mayfield and on the Thor. She reflected on what she endured, the friends she made and how that all helped her grow into a person she could be proud of, most importantly, she accepted herself for who she was and what she was able to accomplish during the year since she woke up in Mayfield, the year since she felt her life really began.
From that point on, Kreutzer continued to enjoy her life, no longer worrying about her past or letting the guilt of it weigh her down; instead, she let it fuel her drive not just to survive, but to live. She fought her fate and won. She even built her first fighter ship, with the help of others. Having a successful flight test of that ship only brought about further satisfaction from the girl. Like her own life, the ship still needed a few tweaks, but it was great, for what it was. Her effort, combined with the effort of others, brought something amazing from just a dream into reality. And she couldn’t have been happier.
Kreutzer did her own investigation and learned the basics of Mayfield, along with making her first friend in town: a white unicorn named Rarity. The two instantly bonded over their love of fashion and became quick friends. She’d become very important to Kreutzer’s development, but the details will be explained later.
The big shocker of Kreutzer’s first day came when she and Hajime returned home, when she learned of his true origins as the world destroyer named Joker. She hadn’t expected to be able to find anyone she could so relate to, much less live with one. Still feeling as though she could very likely bring about great destruction and betrayal again, Kreutzer decided that she needed to take precautions and make sure such a thing would never happen. Her plan consisted of making a bitter enemy out of Hajime so that if she ever needed to be put down, he would do so without the slightest bit of hesitation. Tension between the two grew immensely and quickly, as a result. This, however, was just the beginning...
Kreutzer made a critically poor decision soon afterwards: she went to the post office to regain her low-tier enchanting abilities. The price for this ability? Her memories between when she met Rosa and everything before her death. This meant she lost all of her memories of Rosa and the memories of bringing down her own empire. As far as Kreutzer was concerned, she died before she could fix any of her problems at home. She became restless and though she tried to focus it on her sewing, it didn’t last long. Even when she tried to keep herself focused on more ambitious projects, it was apparent that the effects of losing such important memories were taking their toll on the girl. These tolls were most apparent to Hajime, who had the unfortunate displeasure of living with her. He soon learned, however, of the girl’s true intentions after a conversation with one of her dolls, Earl. Though it gave him a clear viewpoint of what the girl wanted to do, Hajime still agreed to kill her, if the time ever came about.
As time progressed from that point, Kreutzer slowly began pushing away from the darker side of her personality as she found more and more friends to spend time with and, as a result, more trustworthy ways of relieving her stress. Her already established relationship with Rarity only grew as the two spent time together and even worked on various projects together. Applejack she met during the time poison joke spread across the town and Kreutzer became a pony. She also met Princess Luna, another who Kreutzer could relate to in terms of past mistakes and wanting to make up for them. Shortly afterwards, Apple Bloom arrived in her home, forcing Kreutzer to keep herself in control while agreeing with Hajime to keep their hostility away from the young filly. Her relationship with Applejack grew further, as a result. Perhaps one of her most important relationships, however, was with young Luke Triton, who she agreed to take on as a student. Along with further enforcing the need for self-control, his progress and their relationship helped better her mood, culminating in his successful construction of a golem.
However, this was about when things took a turn for the worst. Not long after Luke built his golem did Mayfield have a new event: one that served to alter the memories of the victims, like a false canon update. Due to this faux memories, Kreutzer became the monster she truly feared she would become. From directly harassing Hajime to providing the AU’d!Nightmare Moon with power to nearly strangling poor Luke to death, the girl spread chaos in an already chaos-infused town.
Then Hajime (who was then Joker) and Kreutzer had the showdown that both of them expected. It ended exactly how Kreutzer wanted it to.
Ironically, it turns out her death worked out for the better. After the AU event ended, Kreutzer and Hajime actually had a civil, down to earth conversation with each other. No antagonizing, no fighting…just them and one conversation. His proving capable of killing her shook away all urges to try and be a villain, leaving only a desire to truly die and remorse for her actions, particularly towards Hajime. He may have been a monster, but he was so much better off than she was…so much that she was almost envious of him. Here, he told her very important words: sometimes, the only reason one needs to live is to survive and fight fate. Though not quite sure what to do with those words at first, she still thanked him for everything and left to ponder to herself.
For a while, things remained simple for her…up until the carnival arrived in Mayfield. It certainly looked questionable with its rusted design, but Kreutz and the other Mayfielders knew that it was likely more than just an old carnival, especially the funhouse. Given how the town usually functioned, the lethality was certainly expected. The depth of the lethality, however, was not.
The unfortunate ones found themselves in an alternate dimension of the carnival. Kreutzer was among them. With minimal to no supplies, Kreutzer and the others were forced to survive with whatever they could get their hands on.
On the third day, Kreutzer decided it would be best to at least do some exploration while she was there. After all, locations like this naturally had secrets to be uncovered at the risk of harm and whatnot, right? That was this dimension to an extreme. The corroded area and the lack of food was beginning to wear her down, but she refused to let that slow her down, even when she and Chell investigated the mysterious house 501. The two women couldn’t get far, however, as Chell was rendered unconscious, forcing Kreutzer to escape and drag Chell behind her. Things continued to look grim until she learned the phone lines began working and she managed contact with Rarity and Apple Bloom. After confirming their safety, Kreutzer promised them that she would return home alive.
But as hopeful as she was, Kreutzer could only tolerate so much before finally losing it. By the fourth day, Kreutzer had all about all she could take and went berserk, attacking both the ferris wheel and the fun house.
All her efforts only amounted to wasted effort and feeling even more drained the next day, the day when she really needed the energy. The dimension was falling apart and anyone who stood there too long would surely go down with it. Despite her own weakness, however, Kreutzer managed to save Chell and Luke from untimely demises in the other dimension. She, however, was reluctant to leave just yet for the sake of unfinished business. The dreaded house 501 still needed to be dealt with and Kreutzer ensured that it went down with the rest of the dimension. Despite wanting to watch the house burn, Tachikoma reminded her of how much more important it was to survive than take out her personal vendetta. Too exhausted to argue, Kreutzer hung limply as the spider tank carried her to safety…but as her anger began to fade with her remaining energy, she realized something very important: she realized how she couldn’t just allow herself to die so easily; her friends were counting on her and awaiting her return home. Through those she sincerely cared for, Kreutzer found her reason to live: for her friends.
After being rescued from the alternate dimension, Kreutzer limped her way through town to look for one very specific unicorn. She arrived through sheer willpower alone, but her fatigue was getting the best of her. Thankfully, she held on to her consciousness long enough to see Rarity one more time before everything went black.
It took Kreutzer several days before she could finally have the strength to leave on her own, but eventually she returned home to Apple Bloom and the others, where despite the pointless violence she saw in that other dimension, Kreutzer was actually feeling rather good about herself…but there was still much that bothered her. Her lingering guilt from her actions back home and in Mayfield still weighed her down and she truly wanted to be happy, she needed to be comfortable with leaving such events in the past. Given the town didn’t have much in the way of repentance, the only way she could truly face judgment for her sins was to ask a fellow Mayfielder for it: Shikieiki Yamaxanadu, The judge of Hell. When Kreutzer asked for her help, she agreed to provide…but of course, it wouldn’t be easy. Delivering the only form of punishment circumstances allowed her to, Kreutzer found punishment in the unimaginable, indescribable pain of being struck with the judge’s Rod of Remorse. Living up to its name, the rod struck through Kreutzer’s head and down to her very soul, a lifetime’s supply of guilt and repentance surging through her body in the instance of each blow. She received one for each sin she committed and confessed.
Despite the horrors of accepting judgment, Kreutzer found herself much more relaxed and at ease with her clearer conscious. So much so, in fact, that she was managing to enjoy her life for what it was and enjoy it with the friends she made and survived with.
…Though as was the norm in this town, things always take a turn for the worst when they’re at their happiest. Rarity became permanently droned, stealing from Kreutzer her greatest friend in Mayfield. It devastated her, to say the least. Even when the next event(various portals on various days taking people to various places) in tow, most of the girl’s concerns were focused on Rarity. As a result, her search in this dimension yielded no results…but her consolation prize held much more value than anything she would’ve found in the wasteland: the memories she turned in so many months ago. She remembered that she actually did accomplish her mission back home…and she remembered making a dear friend there. Rosa. Rosa Christopher.
Those memories forcing themselves back into her head overwhelmed Kreutzer and she fled home, keeping to herself for the remainder of the day. She wasn’t seen again until late that night, when she was sitting alone in the park with a Rarity doll in her arms. She cried to herself and tried to sing away her pain, but there was only so much she could do to numb it down. Her tears kept her from noticing Applejack’s and Apple Bloom’s arrival, the two ponies immediately comforting her when they found her. Though it took some time to calm her down, they eventually brought her home, where she and her family enjoyed an evening together. This town may have given them hell at every opportunity, but through the suffering, she found meaning…and happiness.
…But once again, everything went black.
Without warning, Kreutzer found herself aboard a spaceship called the Thor…and far away from Mayfield. In fact, one of the first things she was told on arrival was the destruction of Mayfield. Shaken by this, she reached out to those on board the ship to learn of the specifics…but was surprised by the familiar faces she found, particularly Princess Luna. Assuming she arrived from Mayfield as well, Kreutzer happily greeted her, only to learn of the falsity of her assumption. This Luna had no recollection of Kreutzer or Mayfield and as such, could only awkwardly continue conversation as the girl explained herself. Despite this, she was just fine reforging her friendship with the princess of the night while learning of the secrets this ship held in store.
And so her life aboard the Thor began.
After spending a few days getting acquainted with the ship, she decided to travel to the Magic Guild, where she was told she would be allowed to continue her magical studies and business. Here she met Lemina Ausa, the guildmaster, who approved of Kreutzer’s studies after being wowed by her dolls.
Kreutzer quickly learned that, like Mayfield, this place was far from stable and relaxed. Unlike Mayfield, however, they didn’t get nearly as horrific or traumatic. As questionable as they were, the girl’s experience with Mayfield gave her a resistance to any horrible things the ship wanted to throw at her.
It did come close, however, when the ship began altering others’ memories. Kreutzer learned it messed with Luna’s and nearly made the situation worse by trying to be honest. However, she promised the princess a moonlit tea party to brighten her mood.
And Kreutzer delivered. Along with meeting with and developing a closer bond with Luna, Kreutzer once again met Eiki, who, like the pony, had no memories of the town. Still, she and Kreutzer were able to share a casual teatime together. The other guests who arrived enjoyed themselves as well and at that particular night, she realized how her life on the ship actually felt close to normal, something happy and peaceful that she could willingly continue.
And continue it did in its questionably normal state all the way until December, when Kreutzer learned that she had been living next door to Rarity for months without realizing it. Kreutzer finally contacted her, but taken too far aback from the shock of this meeting meant she made the poor unicorn uncomfortable. Like the others before her, Rarity had no memory of Mayfield. This particularly hurt Kreutzer, but she decided she would also reforge her friendship with Rarity, just as she did with Luna.
The next time she saw a familiar face was when Hajime found himself aboard the Thor…but to her surprise, he remembered her. And he brought her very important information about the town: it finally got shut down and those still there were able to live life as they chose to…but they could never return home. Why? Because the entire town was a computer simulation and those within it mere copies of their real selves. News like this should’ve radically damaged her as it did to most of the town’s residents, but to both of their surprise? Kreutzer wasn’t bothered by it. After a moment’s thought, she realized how okay with the idea she was. Since she was a clone, this meant her real self was still dead and could rest peacefully. Instead of let this revelation weigh her down, Kreutzer decided she would live life for herself…and her real counterpart.
And despite questionably normal things like fighting off space pirates, planning a counterforce team by constructing fighter ships and working for a gaming corporation, Kreutzer still enjoyed herself and her life for what it was: having adventures across the universe and on different planets, living a life few others could.
The events thus far in Kreutzer’s life hit its climax when Princess Celestia proposed a miniature contest among the residents of the Thor: reporting on what they’ve learned about friendship during their time on the ship or back home. In her report, Kreutzer reflected on her life back home, in Mayfield and on the Thor. She reflected on what she endured, the friends she made and how that all helped her grow into a person she could be proud of, most importantly, she accepted herself for who she was and what she was able to accomplish during the year since she woke up in Mayfield, the year since she felt her life really began.
From that point on, Kreutzer continued to enjoy her life, no longer worrying about her past or letting the guilt of it weigh her down; instead, she let it fuel her drive not just to survive, but to live. She fought her fate and won. She even built her first fighter ship, with the help of others. Having a successful flight test of that ship only brought about further satisfaction from the girl. Like her own life, the ship still needed a few tweaks, but it was great, for what it was. Her effort, combined with the effort of others, brought something amazing from just a dream into reality. And she couldn’t have been happier.
